Stories from the Field

October 2004

Sydney's Story

My name is “Sydney” and I come from a Jat Sikh family. My father is a landlord in Punjab. As a child I was raised according to Sikh religion.

When I was in the 5th grade I started to wonder, “Will I ever be able to go to heaven?” I always used to get discouraged by thinking, “No, I cannot get to heaven because I have so many weaknesses.”

When I was in 8th grade, the boy who used to sit next to me at the convent (Christian) school said, “Sydney, if you want to go to heaven you have to accept Lord Jesus Christ as your personal savior.”

I said, “It is not possible because I am a Sikh,” and I just insulted him. I was pretty much against him and what he said.

But he kept on saying, “No, Sydney, you have to accept Lord Jesus Christ if you want to go to heaven.”

Then I started thinking, “Why is he trying to convince me to accept Lord Jesus Christ if I want to go to heaven? Why am I not convincing him to become a Sikh?” I had no answer.

When I started college I began feeling a vacuum in my life. I started feeling like I was empty and needed something more. I thought that if I got to be friends with the senior students, then maybe that emptiness would go away. I started hanging out with senior students and taking part in many filthy things. Then I also started taking some drugs. I thought maybe this can satisfy me, what I am longing for, but it never did. I became very frustrated because I got addicted to many things.

Then I met a friend of mine who was Christian. I told him about my condition and how I was really struggling in my life. I told him that I wanted to have real peace in my life and real joy. He said, “Come to Jesus Christ; He can give you that.” But I again ignored that and said, “No, it’s not possible.”

I started applying different philosophies in my life. I went to a New Age movement and started listening to their teachings also. All these people said, “You need to be good, try to be good and try to do good and behave in a good way.” But I always used to s question in my mind, “I want to be good, I want to be a good son of my parents. I want to be a good student in my college. But how can I? How can I?” That hole was always there.

I met a pastor in my hometown and he started arguing with me about Christian faith and Sikhism. I knew a lot about the Sikh scriptures, so I argued a lot too. But in the end he just asked me to read a verse, Revelation 3:20, from Bible. When I read it I really felt in my heart that, yes, someone is knocking there. Until that day I used to think that God is living in my heart, but on that particular day I got a conviction within myself, “No, God cannot live in this filthy heart because I am full of bad things.” I knew that I was sinful.

I told the pastor, “Ok, I’ll think about it now.”

I went back to my home and wrote two letters in my notebook. One I wrote to my Sikh Gurus. I told them, “I am really attracted to Christianity. I just want to see if Jesus can really change my life. I just want a leave for six months. If He’ll change me, then I’ll be His follower. If He won’t then I’ll come back to Sikhism.”

Then I wrote a letter to Jesus Christ and said, “Jesus, I believe that you came to this world. I believe that you died on the cross. I believe that you rose again from the dead. But now please change my life.”

I just prayed that prayer and when I opened my eyes there was a sweet peace in my heart and a, really, I heard a voice calling, “Yes, Sydney, this is the decision. This is the right decision you have taken in your life, and I was waiting for it.”

After that my life started getting drastic changes. I was changed completely. I had different friends. I started hanging out with pastors and other believers. I always used to long for someone who could talk about Christian faith. I used to read bad books, but I now started reading the Bible. So many things changed and really, I can say I was a new creature after that day. I was a new creation.

Then my parents came to know that I had become a Christian. They were very, very much against my decision. My father said, “Sydney come back to Sikhism.”

But I said, “That is not possible. Dad, I have just changed my heart; I have not changed my religion.”

He said, “No, you have to come back.” He tried everything. I was persecuted physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

Once I even I thought about leaving my new faith because my mom always used to cry, “Sydney, what have you done? I don’t want that. You have to come back to our religion.” She would weep before me, so it was sort of an emotional suffering that I was experiencing.

I thought, “Ok, I’ll drop the idea of following Jesus Christ, I’ll become an atheist.” I said, “There is nothing, because my parents are not happy. I won’t follow Jesus Christ.”

But within 24 hours I realized that I was lacking something; there was no peace in my life. So again, I repented. I told my parents clearly that I couldn’t leave Jesus Christ.

Then my father put a choice in front of me. He said, “On one side is Sikhism and your whole property, the inheritance you will receive. On one side is your Christian faith. You have to follow one.”

I said, “I’ll follow Jesus.”

I left my home when I was about19 years old with just one pair of pants and one shirt and without a single cent in my pocket. But Jesus has been faithful to me. He has provided everything I need, and He has given me a ministry.

When I left my home I did ask, “What will I do now, what’s going to be my future?” And He said, “Sydney I have chosen you when you were in your mother’s womb. I have chosen you before the foundation of this world so that you can preach to many.” That’s what I want. I don’t want any other thing. I want to take somebody with me to heaven.